"Life is like a box of chocolates..."
"...You never know what you're gonna get," according to Forrest Gump.
One of my New Years resolutions was to read a book a week for pleasure (text books and books with Evelyn do not count). While this particular goal wreaks of the usual pressure I put on myself to accomplish more in 24 hours, it has been absolutely delightful. The key has been to choose books that are light, easy to read, and, of course, shorter than 300 pages.
I also began to practice on my acoustic guitar a little since Evelyn has now officially begun guitar lessons. Evelyn and I make up ridiculous lyrics while we strum our chords and clumsily move our fingers down the frets. The best diddy we have written concludes with the lyric, "Mommy stinks at playing guitar but she loooooooooovvvvvvvvvvvveeeeeeeessssss gummy worms." Naturally, this sends Ev into a thorough fit of giggles and resolves on a wicked E major chord. I'll let you know when we are ready to sign for a record deal!
Graduate school is proving more taxing than last semester as the course material is more varied and difficult. While I seem to have more homework to do, this means less time to spend with my beautiful daughter. Nonetheless, she encourages me to complete my homework just as I nag her to complete hers; it is almost a race to see who can complete their work first (I will let you know that it is always Evelyn who wins the blue ribbon).
While discussing the balance between being a student and a mother this week with a friend, I felt discouraged. I miss so many moments with my daughter while I am away at school or doing homework. On the same token, I value education so highly and know where it will eventually take me. Does the cost outweigh the benefit? Life is what you make it...while I miss some moments with Ev, I hope that my perseverance in the continuation of my education will serve as a reminder to my daughter when she's older that anything is possible when you put your mind to it. Evelyn absorbs everything we say, and more than once when I have done something that is not to her liking she will say, "Lead by example, mother." Ev might realize the impact of her words at this moment, but she will eventually.
I realize that I am not the only mother out there struggling with this same battle. I want all of you working mothers and mothers in school to know that you are not alone. We might not all be willing to vocalize our heartache about the situation, but not vocalizing this does mean that it isn't there. Being away from your child(ren) is tough because it feels selfish, though it is something for the betterment for our entire family. May you find peace and balance in your life. And if you have difficulty with that, may you find angsty music to sing loudly in your car on the way home to your kids to relieve some of that stress. Let's feel better together.
One of my New Years resolutions was to read a book a week for pleasure (text books and books with Evelyn do not count). While this particular goal wreaks of the usual pressure I put on myself to accomplish more in 24 hours, it has been absolutely delightful. The key has been to choose books that are light, easy to read, and, of course, shorter than 300 pages.
I also began to practice on my acoustic guitar a little since Evelyn has now officially begun guitar lessons. Evelyn and I make up ridiculous lyrics while we strum our chords and clumsily move our fingers down the frets. The best diddy we have written concludes with the lyric, "Mommy stinks at playing guitar but she loooooooooovvvvvvvvvvvveeeeeeeessssss gummy worms." Naturally, this sends Ev into a thorough fit of giggles and resolves on a wicked E major chord. I'll let you know when we are ready to sign for a record deal!
Graduate school is proving more taxing than last semester as the course material is more varied and difficult. While I seem to have more homework to do, this means less time to spend with my beautiful daughter. Nonetheless, she encourages me to complete my homework just as I nag her to complete hers; it is almost a race to see who can complete their work first (I will let you know that it is always Evelyn who wins the blue ribbon).
While discussing the balance between being a student and a mother this week with a friend, I felt discouraged. I miss so many moments with my daughter while I am away at school or doing homework. On the same token, I value education so highly and know where it will eventually take me. Does the cost outweigh the benefit? Life is what you make it...while I miss some moments with Ev, I hope that my perseverance in the continuation of my education will serve as a reminder to my daughter when she's older that anything is possible when you put your mind to it. Evelyn absorbs everything we say, and more than once when I have done something that is not to her liking she will say, "Lead by example, mother." Ev might realize the impact of her words at this moment, but she will eventually.
I realize that I am not the only mother out there struggling with this same battle. I want all of you working mothers and mothers in school to know that you are not alone. We might not all be willing to vocalize our heartache about the situation, but not vocalizing this does mean that it isn't there. Being away from your child(ren) is tough because it feels selfish, though it is something for the betterment for our entire family. May you find peace and balance in your life. And if you have difficulty with that, may you find angsty music to sing loudly in your car on the way home to your kids to relieve some of that stress. Let's feel better together.
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