Musical Clarity
Before I had Evelyn, before I met Jake, I used to spend hours with my feet propped up on my iron headboard, staring at my ceiling fan and listening to music. When I say hours, I really do mean hours. I would stay up late just listening...most of the time Patty would come into my room and tell me to turn it down to a whisper so I wouldn't bother she and my dad.
It never ceases to amaze me how I hear a certain song, smell a certain scent, or taste a certain food and I am no longer in the current moment but in a moment that passed a long time ago. "Blister in the Sun" by the Violent Femmes makes me see Niki, Cathy, and Corrie dancing around in my big red truck from high school. Occasionally, Jake will wear a cologne that takes me back to the night we met. When I taste blackberries, I always envision my 8-year-old self in my grandmother's kitchen learning how to roll out cobbler crust just right.
Tonight Evelyn fell asleep early and Jake is gone for the weekend so instead of using my alone to clean or put away laundry I decided to engulf myself in some music. I laid backwards on our chais lounge and put the shuffle on...every song took me to a different place. I listened to this song the morning I gave birth to Evie. I listened to this song in my dorm room at ISU. I listened to this song at Jake's apartment on Canedy. I listened to this song on a solo drive in the country. I listened to this song after my first breakup.
When I give myself the time to listen, I can hear an emotional scrapbook forming and love the memories I have created with each song. Surrounding my thoughts with music gives me this sense of clarity that I only feel when I surrender my soul to the lyrics I am hearing. Corny? Most definitely.
Love.
It never ceases to amaze me how I hear a certain song, smell a certain scent, or taste a certain food and I am no longer in the current moment but in a moment that passed a long time ago. "Blister in the Sun" by the Violent Femmes makes me see Niki, Cathy, and Corrie dancing around in my big red truck from high school. Occasionally, Jake will wear a cologne that takes me back to the night we met. When I taste blackberries, I always envision my 8-year-old self in my grandmother's kitchen learning how to roll out cobbler crust just right.
Tonight Evelyn fell asleep early and Jake is gone for the weekend so instead of using my alone to clean or put away laundry I decided to engulf myself in some music. I laid backwards on our chais lounge and put the shuffle on...every song took me to a different place. I listened to this song the morning I gave birth to Evie. I listened to this song in my dorm room at ISU. I listened to this song at Jake's apartment on Canedy. I listened to this song on a solo drive in the country. I listened to this song after my first breakup.
When I give myself the time to listen, I can hear an emotional scrapbook forming and love the memories I have created with each song. Surrounding my thoughts with music gives me this sense of clarity that I only feel when I surrender my soul to the lyrics I am hearing. Corny? Most definitely.
Love.
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