Asking the "Hard" Questions
Working as a restaurant manager, I come into contact with hundreds of people on a daily basis, and there are lots of opportunities for me to ask, "How are you doing today?" Most reply with a, "I'm doing fine. How are you?" Social etiquette dictates that we use these niceties when addressing others in public. Does anyone ever really expect an honest answer?
"How are you doing, Sarah?" Everyone sees me smiling, making small talk, forming connections with guests. I almost always respond with a resounding, "I am feeling great!" Sometimes this response is the God's honest truth...and other times it isn't. When I don't exactly feel "great," I don't want to be that person that tells complete strangers about how horrible my day is. Do you really want to know, or are you asking because this is what society has deemed necessary for small talk in a less-than-intimate setting?
What a liberating feeling it is when you speak with a friend you haven't seen in a long time, he or she really looks at you and then asks, "How are you doing, Sarah?" in a concerned voice, intent on listening to whatever it is that you really need to say. No niceties or guise to hide behind...merely a friend who knows in his or her heart of hearts that something is amiss. Candid. Honest. Hard questions with even harder answers. The best part about these conversations is that your barriers are broken down and the farce you uphold is completely transparent to someone for a short time.
How am I doing today? I am doing very well, thank you. I am grateful for old friends who want me to be honest, who listen intently, and who give me a few smiles.
"How are you doing, Sarah?" Everyone sees me smiling, making small talk, forming connections with guests. I almost always respond with a resounding, "I am feeling great!" Sometimes this response is the God's honest truth...and other times it isn't. When I don't exactly feel "great," I don't want to be that person that tells complete strangers about how horrible my day is. Do you really want to know, or are you asking because this is what society has deemed necessary for small talk in a less-than-intimate setting?
What a liberating feeling it is when you speak with a friend you haven't seen in a long time, he or she really looks at you and then asks, "How are you doing, Sarah?" in a concerned voice, intent on listening to whatever it is that you really need to say. No niceties or guise to hide behind...merely a friend who knows in his or her heart of hearts that something is amiss. Candid. Honest. Hard questions with even harder answers. The best part about these conversations is that your barriers are broken down and the farce you uphold is completely transparent to someone for a short time.
How am I doing today? I am doing very well, thank you. I am grateful for old friends who want me to be honest, who listen intently, and who give me a few smiles.
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